TWO TOPICS THIS TIME
WHAT DO OTHER PARENTS DO TO HELP THEIR ADD/ADHD CHILDREN?
ALSO
TO ENABLE CREATIVITY AND REDUCE THE IMPACT OF IMPULSIVITY AND DISTRACTIBILITY
WHAT DO OTHER PARENTS DO
TO HELP THEIR ADD/ADHD CHILDREN??
Successful parents know how to build on the strengths of the ADD/ADHD child to reduce the impact of his neurological challenges. To build on an ADD/ADHD child's strength of purpose and reduce his oppositionality they:
1. Give him structure in all aspects of his life. Use lots of reminder notes, incentives, and posted schedules to compensate for short term memory and personal organization problems. Help him organize his space. Use "reminder language" to give him specific behavioral feedback on what he is doing. He may not remember from the last time.
2. Help her give herself structure by helping her to identify her interests and passions. Help her set goals. Goals give her focus and are essential to her psychological survival.
3. Get on problems early and give him lots of choices. Prompt him through transitions. Use "positive" language: "This is what I want you to do." -- Avoid "don't do" statements.
4. Know that you are in charge and keep discussions cool and behaviorally specific. This parental attitude is crucial to avoiding the push-pull and psychological fisticuffs that these kids seem to enjoy.
5. Give abundant praise. ADD/ADHD kids eat this up like it's honey for bears and they need our blessings to help them past all the negative feedback they get from others.
6. Involve her in regular exercise to dispel pent up energy and give her better focus. A garage sale exercise cycle in her room will return to you a hundred fold the original cost.
TO ENABLE CREATIVITY AND
REDUCE THE IMPACT OF IMPULSIVITY AND DISTRACTIBILITY
1. Value his eccentricities. Joy in the pursuit of creative endeavors is a central identifier of most ADD/ADHD kids. Give him access to a computer (another noted skill for these children) and help him hone his creative skills.
2. Discuss her ideas and help her discover solutions to the challenges that she faces. Let her tell you what she needs to do to stay in control. Devise solutions together.
3. Encourage his creativity in school and get him in a program that gives him the freedom to be creative within a clear structure. Help him link up with other kids who enjoy the offbeat and creative.
4. Indulge her and your own zany sides. Laughter helps reduce stress. ADD/ADHD kids can be very funny and outrageous. Roll with her weird sense of humor and make contact with her through it.
5. Build a sense of reverence for living things and give him the opportunity to express his connection with nature. Get him a pet. Help him stay in contact with the natural environment.
Thom Hartmann in his book Attention Deficit Disorder, A Different Perspective says that ADD is a throwback in human history to the age of hunters. He argues that the ADD constellation of traits is that of the hunter; alert, intuitive, resourceful, living in the moment. Hunters played a vital role in the survival of ancient human civilization. ADD/ADHD children bring similar powerful gifts to the task of our cultural survival today. They are cultural treasures.
These children are very strong and challenge all conventions and rules.
This is their nature. Being this strong and lacking skill in self control, they must get equal quantities of love and structure if they are to grow up to realize their considerable potential.
Parents who can give them these things will they themselves be changed for they will have met and transcended the challenge of their lives.
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WHAT IF ?????
If the problems occur only at home (does fine at school)
Check out home stressors. Behaviors could be a reaction to home stressors.
If you see distractibility, over-activity and impulsiveness in your child, and you're going through separation, divorce or other troublesome times, the behavior might be temporary. Additionally, if the ADDer is on medication, talk to your doctor about a possible “rebound effect”.
Also, some students maintain all day at school and they “fall apart” at home where they feel safe. Choose your battles.
Child development experts often recommend ignoring your child when his behavior is something you don't like but can tolerate. Eventually your child will stop the troublesome behavior because he's not getting any attention for it. "The trick is to always pay attention to your child when he stops the behavior you don't like and starts the behavior you do like," says Dr. Goldstein.
(NOT THAT EASY TO DO BUT WORTH THE EFFORT. I'VE SEEN IT WORK!!! -- BJ Madewell -- editor)
Be consistent. "Set up and stick to schedules and routines," suggests Dr. Goldstein. "Children with attention problems often benefit from consistent routines, including specific time periods for watching television, doing homework, playing, performing chores and eating dinner." Minimize disruptions. When interruptions are unavoidable, however, try to warn your child ahead of time that there's going to be a change of schedule.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
DISCLAIMER
This information is for educational purposes only. Much of the information is from classes and workshops I've taken AND GIVEN during my 30+ years of working with ADD & ADHD students - sprinkled with my own comments, thoughts and insights.
Some information is acquired from the INTERNET. Be aware that not all information on the WWW is accurate. Use your own judgment. This information is not intended to replace information from your doctor, therapist, lawyer, psychologist, nutritionist or psychiatrist. Consult your child's (or your own) doctor for additional input.
Editor: BJ Madewell
Wichita, KS area
316-733-9532
FAX not available
Email ADDchoices@aol.com or ADDchoices@yahoo.com
